The X Factor debuted last week with the usual cast of characters auditioning to be the next BIG thing. And as usual, more than half of them show up with at least one person to cheer them on. This blog is about that person.
- The person that answers “no” when your friend asks, “Is this dress too short?”
- The person that says “he’s just scared of how deep his feelings are for you” when your friend tells you she hasn’t heard from the loser she’s dating in two weeks.
- The person that says “fab” when your friend asks you how her makeup looks (when she has clearly put on way too much blush).
- The person that says ”you nailed it” when your friend screeches through his rendition of Alicia Key’s “Fallin” and sounds—as Simon Cowell said “like a mouse trying to be an elephant.” (One of his best lines thus far, by the way!)
When you show up to the audition blindly agreeing with your friend who swears she sounds just like Mariah and is going to win the whole competition, know that the folks at home are judging you even more than your friend. What we really want to know is why the hell you (or anyone else for that matter) has never had the balls to tell your friend, daughter, cousin, niece, nephew, sister or brother that they CANNOT SING???!!! Or at least not well enough to enter into a competition. And when they finally get the unanimous “HELL NO” from the judges (which always shocks them because no one has ever bothered to tell them how much they suck) it’s the perfect opportunity for you to gentle suggest that maybe they give up the dream of becoming a pop star and seriously start pursuing other ambitions. But what do you do instead? Tell them how the judges are just jealous of them, how they don’t know talent, how they’ll be sorry—REALLY??
While I know you may be thinking, “Who am I to crush someone else’s dream?” understand there’s a difference between being a dream killer and a voice of reason. And that doesn’t mean you’re a hater, it means you cared enough to be honest (although, most will still call you a hater). So the next time you find yourself in the awkward position of lying yet again or telling the truth, stop fantasizing about sitting in the front row at the Grammy’s and tell the truth. But…then again, with some of the crap that passes for music these days—you never know!