9 Secrets Your Man Is Keeping From You

After last week’s post about the secrets a woman should keep from her man, I started to get really curious about what secrets my husband might be keeping from me.  So I asked him.  Before prefacing almost every secret with “Well I don’t do this, but…,” and asking a few other men, here’s what I was able to find out:

1. I still keep in touch with my ex.
Don’t worry, it’s just so that I can rub how happy we are in her face.

2. You’re right, I wasn’t listening.
I figured if I looked you in the eye while you were talking, you might think that I was.

3. When I break stuff, I let the kid take the blame.
Maybe if you smiled and gave me a big hug after I apologize like you do with the kid, I would be willing to fess up:)

4. I actually do want you to be a porn star in bed.
Then again, I probably couldn’t handle it.

5. You snore.
That time you asked me and I said you sounded like a small animal, I wasn’t kidding.

6. I bought a new…okay a few new TV’s.
Since you never agree to get the size that I want, every couple of years I buy the same brand of TV a few inches bigger and replace the smaller one.  Pretty genius, huh?

7. Yes, that dress does makes your butt look big.
And I like it.

8. Yes, I think your girlfriend is hot.
Admit it, you think she’s hot too.

9. My mom is coming for a visit.
Hey, better to ask for forgiveness rather than ask for permission.

What other secrets is he keeping?  Leave comments below.

Follow me on twitter @simonesayswhat

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9 Secrets You Should Keep From Your Man

secret

I recently did something that I decided would be best if I didn’t share it with my husband.  While I do tell him just about everything, there are a few secrets I think a woman should keep from her man.  I mean, does he really need to know everything?  Check out the list and decide for yourself.

1. Your waxing, plucking and shaving routine.
If you have ever seen the look on his face when he caught you doing this (especially your upper lip), you know why made the list.

2. You putting on your shapewear.
Does he really need to see what acrobatics you have to perform to stuff yourself into your shapewear?

3. That you have scratched, dinged, or dented his car.
With all the time he spends washing and waxing his ride, the last thing he needs to know is that you are responsible for the three-inch scratch on the passenger side. (Ok, I think I said too much…)

4. Your girlfriend’s business.
Whether she had a one-night stand with  her co-worker or has been catfished by a Nigerian, as tempting as it might be to share, anything she tells should stay between you and her.

5. How many men you have slept with.
Your probably going to lie anyway.

6. How much money you have in your individual bank account.
Momma used to say always keep a lil something on the side…just in case.

7. You on the toilet.
To me, this is oversharing!  I don’t care how close you are, some things should just be done privately.

8. How much money you spent on your last shopping trip.
Or better yet, pull out one of your reusable bags, pop the tags and tell him you got it all from a trendy thrift shop.

9. If any of his friends hit on you.
Nothing good can come of this.  If it was only once, try to handle it yourself.  If it continues, then you may need to share it with your man.  Just make sure you don’t do it in front of the friend or it might end up looking like an episode of Cheaters.

Got any others to add to the list?  Leave your comments below.

Follow me on twitter @simonesayswhat