Between Us: Are All Husbands Idiots?

journey and dad

My husband is an idiot.  Scratch that.  All husbands are idiots.  Loveable idiots, but idiots nonetheless.  They are allowed to drive cars, build computers, fly planes and even run the country.  Yet, when I watch the way they are portrayed on television sitcoms and commercials, I am amazed that they are able to get dressed by themselves!  I know it’s only for entertainment purposes and I’m all for a good laugh, but why does the laugh always have to be at dad’s expense? Continue reading

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Mother’s Day Gift Guide

happy mothers day

Mother’s Day is almost here!  In addition to the usual breakfast/lunch/dinner prepared by the hubby and the homemade gift from the kid, here are a few other things I wouldn’t mind receiving: Continue reading

Between Us: The Key To A Happy Marriage Is…

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I was listening to the radio earlier this week when the host referenced a listener that revealed the key to a happy marriage: Continue reading

Between Us: Can A Woman Ever Have Too Many Shoes

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I look really hot in these shoes…for the five steps that I can take before they start to kill my feet!

There are two things I don’t want my husband to ever comment on—how much I eat and how many pairs of shoes I have.  So you can imagine my surprise when after 17 years together, my husband finally asked the question that men have been asking women for decades (maybe even centuries), “Do you really need more shoes?” Continue reading

The 40/40 Club: How I Feel About Turning 40

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I don’t know where the time went, but somehow I’m turning 40 this weekend.  I’ve been thinking about it (probably a little too much) ever since I found out I was a year older than I thought I was a few years ago. Continue reading

9 Secrets Your Man Is Keeping From You

After last week’s post about the secrets a woman should keep from her man, I started to get really curious about what secrets my husband might be keeping from me.  So I asked him.  Before prefacing almost every secret with “Well I don’t do this, but…,” and asking a few other men, here’s what I was able to find out:

1. I still keep in touch with my ex.
Don’t worry, it’s just so that I can rub how happy we are in her face.

2. You’re right, I wasn’t listening.
I figured if I looked you in the eye while you were talking, you might think that I was.

3. When I break stuff, I let the kid take the blame.
Maybe if you smiled and gave me a big hug after I apologize like you do with the kid, I would be willing to fess up:)

4. I actually do want you to be a porn star in bed.
Then again, I probably couldn’t handle it.

5. You snore.
That time you asked me and I said you sounded like a small animal, I wasn’t kidding.

6. I bought a new…okay a few new TV’s.
Since you never agree to get the size that I want, every couple of years I buy the same brand of TV a few inches bigger and replace the smaller one.  Pretty genius, huh?

7. Yes, that dress does makes your butt look big.
And I like it.

8. Yes, I think your girlfriend is hot.
Admit it, you think she’s hot too.

9. My mom is coming for a visit.
Hey, better to ask for forgiveness rather than ask for permission.

What other secrets is he keeping?  Leave comments below.

Follow me on twitter @simonesayswhat

9 Secrets You Should Keep From Your Man

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I recently did something that I decided would be best if I didn’t share it with my husband.  While I do tell him just about everything, there are a few secrets I think a woman should keep from her man.  I mean, does he really need to know everything?  Check out the list and decide for yourself.

1. Your waxing, plucking and shaving routine.
If you have ever seen the look on his face when he caught you doing this (especially your upper lip), you know why made the list.

2. You putting on your shapewear.
Does he really need to see what acrobatics you have to perform to stuff yourself into your shapewear?

3. That you have scratched, dinged, or dented his car.
With all the time he spends washing and waxing his ride, the last thing he needs to know is that you are responsible for the three-inch scratch on the passenger side. (Ok, I think I said too much…)

4. Your girlfriend’s business.
Whether she had a one-night stand with  her co-worker or has been catfished by a Nigerian, as tempting as it might be to share, anything she tells should stay between you and her.

5. How many men you have slept with.
Your probably going to lie anyway.

6. How much money you have in your individual bank account.
Momma used to say always keep a lil something on the side…just in case.

7. You on the toilet.
To me, this is oversharing!  I don’t care how close you are, some things should just be done privately.

8. How much money you spent on your last shopping trip.
Or better yet, pull out one of your reusable bags, pop the tags and tell him you got it all from a trendy thrift shop.

9. If any of his friends hit on you.
Nothing good can come of this.  If it was only once, try to handle it yourself.  If it continues, then you may need to share it with your man.  Just make sure you don’t do it in front of the friend or it might end up looking like an episode of Cheaters.

Got any others to add to the list?  Leave your comments below.

Follow me on twitter @simonesayswhat

Girlfriend Gift Guide: 10 Fab Gifts For Your Best Friend

I’ve been told I’m hard to shop for because I seem to have everything–which of course is totally NOT true!  So I’ve compiled a list of ten simple but fab gifts that I would be happy to receive and I’m sure any of your girlfriends would too.

pop phone

1. Rebecca Minkoff Pop Phone for iPhone $48

Classic meets current with this oh so cute handheld receiver for your iPhone.  Comes in several different styles and colors.

kate spade iphone case

2. Kate Spade New York iPhone 4 Case $40.00

I love this iPhone case because it makes me think of candy.  Pair it with your bestie’s favorite sweet treat for a gift that she is sure to love!

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3. Kim Seybert Best in Show Cocktail Napkin $47.00

Colorful pups are illustrated on these beautiful linen napkins.  A must have for the dog lover in your life.

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4. “Mine” Luggage Tag & Passport Set $70.00

For the friend that stays on the go, these sturdy leather accessories will make sure she and her luggage get there in style.

oxo salad chopper

5. OXO Salad Chopper with Bowl $24.99

Save time by slicing and dicing the ingredients for a salad in this salad chopper and bowl.  The chopper has double stainless steel blades to efficiently slice greens, veggies and more!

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6. Vogue Covers Coffee Table Book $91.00

Your fashionista friend will go gaga over this coffee table book featuring nearly a century’s worth of covers from the holy grail of fashion.  Both illustrated and photographic, this stunning book celebrates the long, rich history of still cutting-edge Vogue magazine.

kate spade taxi gloves

7. Kate Spade New York Taxi Mittens $68.00

Best friend in a big city?  These super cute Taxi mittens may be just what she needs to hail a cab in cold.

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8. Ms. & Mrs. ‘Good Luck’ Mini Emergency Kit $15

This is a MUST have item for every woman!  This cute compact case has everything, I mean EVERYTHING you need to take care of any possible emergency including a mending kit, earring backs, double-sided tape, hair spray and even a stain-removing towelette.  It’s all neatly stored in a cute patent case small enough to fit in your purse!

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9. MAC Holiday Collection: Primped Out Lip Look Bag in Luxurious Pink $39.50

For your friend that likes to stand out in a crowd, this hot lip color  from MAC’s holiday collection is sure to garner some attention!  This style-packed, leopard print M∙A∙C Holiday bag includes Lipstick in Lickable, Cremesheen Glass in Call Me Gorgeous and Lip Pencil in Great Catch.

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10. Time

Spending quality time with your friends is priceless.  Sign up to take a fun class together like belly dancing, pottery or wine tasting.  Arrange to spend some girl time together to go catch a movie, have dinner or enjoy a spa day.  If your friends live out of town, plan a girls getaway for some much needed relaxation on a beach or wild weekend in Vegas.  Your weekend, your choice:)

Happy Holidays!!

 

I Found A Lump…Again

I noticed a small knot under my arm while taking a shower.  When it was still there a month later, I decided it was time to have it checked out.  Since it was time for my annual physical anyway, I figured I’d kill two birds since my doctor was probably going to send me for a mammogram anyway.  Which is exactly what he did.

I promptly called to make an appointment the next day, only to be told that they needed to receive an order from my doctor before they could schedule the mammogram.  After the order is received, it takes 48 hours for the order to be entered into the system and then I could make the appointment.  Needless to say, this process took almost a week of back and forth before they finally received the order.  Only this time when I try to make the appointment, the nurse says “you are not due for a mammogram until February.”  I had to explain that I had an abnormal exam and the doctor requested it be done now.  “Oh,” she said, “then they have to send over a diagnostic order, you need to tell them to send another order.”  Upon hearing this I exploded!  I was able to speak to a manager and get them to call and get the order straightened out and finally made the appointment.

If you’ve never had a mammogram, I must warn you, it’s a bit uncomfortable.  I guess I would compare it to having a pap smear or wearing spanx—it’s uncomfortable, it’s not pretty, but it MUST be done!  It’s the equivalent to slapping your boob on a cold table and having someone press a book down on it until they can’t get it any flatter.  Oh but they can!  Now someone steps on the book!  The technician had a knob and she cranks, 1…2…3, takes the pic, it automatically releases your boob from captivity and you’re done.

After finally having the mammogram and ultrasound, I had to go through more runaround to get the results sent to my doctor. The radiologist had the wrong fax number.  Fax number?  All the technology we have and they are still faxing results? Really?  By the time the doctor got back to me, I had already received the results via snail mail.  No sign of cancer, thank God!  I took it upon myself to make a follow-up appointment with a breast specialist to find out what the lump is.  Turns out, women my age have very dense breast tissue (which can also hide tumors—see this article).  I received the same diagnosis the first time I found a lump.  But I don’t believe in self-diagnosis especially with something so critical to my health.  If you find a lump anywhere for any reason, get it checked out…period.

How fitting to experience this episode during Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Maybe this lump decided to show up at this particular time for 2 reasons:

1.  So that I could remind my friends of the importance of doing monthly self-exams and to make taking care of YOU a priority.  You can only take care of your family and those that love you if you are still here to do it.  Take a moment to make those appointments that you have been putting off and add staying healthy to your “to-do” list.  And pass this advice along to your friends and family.

2.  So that I could help you encourage those around you to become better advocates for themselves and become an advocate to someone in need.  Perhaps you are the one who needs an advocate.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Most times, it feels like health care providers and insurance companies are more concerned about their processes and procedures than they are about their patients.  Did any of them ever consider what it feels like to be a woman who has found a lump in her breast, or had a child that suddenly fell ill for no reason?  The last thing you want is to wade through a bunch of red tape to get answers.  You may have a family member or a friend who is just not equipped to deal with what it takes to navigate the healthcare system.  Help them by coming up with a list of questions to ask the doctor, going with them to appointments for support, or researching available resources.

And for those that have fought cancer and those that are still fighting, remember:

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.  ~C.C. Scott

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Update:  Ok, I’m going to be honest here.   After sharing the story above, you would think that certainly I would be doing a routine breast exam each month.  Unfortunately, that’s still not the case.  It’s more like every two or three months–which is just not good enough.  Since my smartphone manages to help me keep track of everything else on my schedule, I’m going to see if it can help me remember to do my self-exams as well.  So I downloaded the Pink Bra iPhone app.  In addition to sending you a monthly reminder, the app gives directions and illustrations on how to perform the exam.  I’ve already set my reminder for next month. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Do you have any helpful tips on how to remember to do your monthly self-exam?

Please share this post with all of the amazing women in your life!

Follow me on twitter @herlifeinspired.