How To Deal With Your Kid’s First Crush

School has started and love is in the air as recently found out that my daughter has her first crush!!  Honestly, I can’t even remember how we got on the subject, but it led me to ask her if she had a crush.  And here’s where the conversation went from there…

J:  “Alright, I’ll just tell you I have a crush, but I won’t say who.”
(Awww!  Wait, what did you say?!)

Me:  “On a real person, or like a character on TV or something?”
(Maybe it’s Justin Beiber, no big deal.)

J: “Mooommm! A real person!”
(Nooooo!  My baby isn’t a baby anymore!  I’m not ready for this.)

Me:  “Okay, but you can tell me, you can trust me.”

J: “No, you’ll tell dad.”
(He’s REALLY not ready for this!)

Me: “Not if you don’t want me to.  If you tell me not to tell, I won’t.”
(Just stay calm.  This is a crucial moment in your relationship.  If you freak out, she won’t feel comfortable sharing this kind of info.  Then you’ll be standing by her door eavesdropping on her and her friends as you listen to them give her awful advice and then…STOP…get it together…stay calm…)

J:  “Well I guess I can tell you since you’re married.”
(Okay…if you say so…)

J:  “Okay…I have a crush on (fill in boy name).”
(He’s cute and I love his parents.  She’s got good taste.  I’m impressed!  I calm down as I start to remember how fleeting crushes are, especially at this age.)

J: “Look.”  “I wrote not all around it, just in case somebody read it and it would confuse them.”
(She shows me the page in her diary where she has written I have a crush on (fill in boy name) with the word “not” all around it.  I try not to laugh.)

Me:  “Really?  I thought you didn’t get along with him too well.”
(Guess some things never change!)

J: “I know.  But we get along okay now.”

Me:  “Does he like you too?”

J: “I don’t know, I didn’t tell him.”

Me: “Well sometimes you can tell by the way they act around you.”  “Did you tell your any of your friends?”

J: “NO!”

Me: “Smart girl!”  “You have to be careful who you tell your secrets to.  Depending on who you tell, it might not stay a secret for too long.”
(I high-fived her on this one!  I am so glad that she is smart enough to realize this already.  I had visions of being her age and telling my secrets to my “friends” only to watch them spread across the playground like wildfire.)

J:  “And don’t write about it!  Don’t tell my business, don’t tell my business!”
(Smirk.  Is she serious?!)

Me: “Well, how about I don’t mention his name, then could I write about it?”

J: “Okay, that’ll work.  But don’t write the name…and don’t tell dad!”

Me:  “I won’t, I won’t.”
(Trust me, I’m in no rush to have this conversation with him.  Besides, despite what he claims, I’m not sure he reads this blog anyway:/)

Then she casually goes back to doing her rainbow loom.  As I sat on the couch shocked at the very mature conversation I just had with a 7-year-old, I realized how much things were about to change.  They already had.

How did you handle your kid’s first crush?  Got any tips to help dad?

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